"passing of the hero"

Oswald Chambers wrote:

Our soul's history with God is frequently the history of the "passing of the hero." Over and over again, God has to remove our friends in order to bring Himself in their place, and that is where we faint and fail and get discouraged. Take it personally: In the year that the one who stood to me for all that God was, died -- I gave up everything? I became ill? I got disheartened? Or -- I saw the Lord?

It must be God first, God second, and God third, until the life is faced steadily with God and no one else is of any account whatever. “In all the world, there is none but thee, my God, there is none but thee.”

Keep paying the price. Let God see that you are willing to live up to the vision.

In the time since losing my father, one of my "hero" figures that Chambers speaks of, I've had to learn this lessen again and again. Perhaps now, this latest bout with the loss of a friend will be my last; perhaps I have finally learned what it is God has been trying to teach me for years. Or perhaps, as is more likely the case, I shall always experience this, at various points in my life, in order to continually remind me that God is my all.

Dad was my hero, my friend, my mentor, my teacher, my father -- he was my first glimpse of who God is because he demonstrated what it meant to be a loving father and a bridegroom. I was blessed to have had 19 years with him. Nineteen rich, full years. And when I lost him, I lost my world. I lost my sense of justice. I lost my security.

It was then that God was calling my name, ever so softly, asking me to turn to Him and learn that He is my all.

I took a baby step that year.

And I've taken more steps as the years go by.

As people and circumstances and church families and social groups have come and gone in and out of my life, I have learned, step by step, to rely upon the Lord. The past couple of months have been the most incredible, for I feel that I have finally learned to put into practice what I have been learning in theory through the many times God has allowed the rug to be pulled from underneath me.

I am learning what it means to have the Lord be my all. What it means to have friendships and relationships with people and to cherish them but to be ready to lose them at a minute's notice, and when I do, or when they change drastically, to be at peace with my circumstances, knowing the Lord is in sovereign control and knows the plans He has for me - plans for good and for a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).

I have learned what it means to hold everything I have with an open hand -- family, security, jobs, school, material things and comforts -- ready and willing for the Lord to take them away as suddenly as He gifted me with them.

I have learned to thank Him in the midst of confusion and pain.

And I have learned that being in love with the Lord, walking with Him daily, making Him my all -- my everything -- the first person I turn to when I am afraid or stressed or angry or hurt -- is one of the most satisfying and incredible feelings and experiences a human being could ever know.

I have found true joy and peace in a way I have never experienced before.

So when I came upon Chamber's quote the other day, it struck home. No one else but Jesus is of any account in my life; I am learning what that means practically through living out my life, and it's such an exciting adventure.

Of course, having realized this spiritual truth, I am on guard because I know I will be tested. It seems to be the case without fail that as soon as the Holy Spirit reveals insight and wisdom into the spiritual realm, and I achieve victory in some areas through His power and/or give counsel to another brother or sister about a specific issue, I am tested in that very area. Which is to be expected, for of course Satan doesn't want us to grow spiritually; of course he is on the prowl and wants to strip us of the freedom we have in Christ; he shudders at any strides we make through the Holy Spirit's help because it means we are that much closer to reflecting Jesus Christ's character and person to the world around us. And it is Christ whom we are to model; to be like Christ is God's will for us.

"Our model is the Jesus, not only of Calvary, but of the workshop, the roads, the crowds, the clamorous demands and surly oppositions, the lack of all peace and privacy, the interruptions." -C.S. Lewis, "The Four Loves."

So while I am rejoicing in knowing this truth -- of experiencing the peace that comes through making Jesus number one, number two, number three, and number four in my life -- I am also prayerful that I would not forget this lesson, that I would not forget my first love, that I would continually seek the Lord daily and make Him my everything.

It's a daily commitment. A daily desire. A desire that I hope never to let become stagnate nor forgotten.

-Christen Patterson [Originally written June 2005; revised April 2007]